Sin is like…

Sin is like being born in house arrest. You have freedom. You can eat your choice of any ten different, delicious dinners. You have ten different solid gray-scale shirts to choose from each morning. You can go outside to swing or toss a ball around. You can see the sun and the sky each day.  This is not prison. You do not feel stifled at all. You have always felt free and safe. You know there’s an outside world, but it’s a frightening, unknown place. You’re convinced it has nothing to offer you and have been told that there are rules you must live by, which seems incredibly oppressive. You can’t imagine why anyone would chose to live under rules when you had complete freedom in your home.

Then one day your ball bounces over your fence and you walk down the street a little way to retrieve it. In your neighbor’s yard you notice a slide and you begin to become curious about it. But your ankle monitor doesn’t allow you to travel any farther. All of a sudden the next day, you’re a little put out by having to stay in your yard. You want to experience the slide. You begin to notice that you don’t have every freedom that you would like to have. The next day you decide to make a run for it. You run to your neighbor’s yard and slide down the slide. Of course the monitor goes off and a guard is at your side within minutes dragging you back to your house.

You’ve now tasted a bit of freedom and begin to wonder what life is really like outside of your house. However, you’re beaten down and feel alone and scared. Not being content with your home any longer you begin to seek help and plead to be released from house arrest. Finally, you are granted mercy. You may have complete freedom to roam about the world, but your ankle monitor will remain on your leg. That’s ok with you, it hardly weighs you down.

You leave your house and walk past your neighbor’s house. You leave your street behind and finally your neighborhood. You are exploring the wonderful freedom that has been lost on you before. You realize that there are millions of different, delicious food options. You see people dressed in clothing of all different colors and styles. As you continue to travel you experience the snow in the mountains and the beaches in the tropics. Eventually, encounter the rules you were told of. However, even the rules seem to be in place as a protection for the people. For example: Rule #3 “Don’t jump in front of a moving train.” “Really,” you think, “that leads to death, why would I want to do that anyway?”

Along the way someone trips you, but you get up again. However, it begins to happen more often. You get tripped and brought down and you begin to think of the beautiful safety and freedom of your house. It was such a beautiful little cottage, with flower boxes in the window, luxurious green grass, and the most comfortable of beds. The comfort that it always gave you. Without even realizing what you’re doing your feet lead you automatically toward home. It’s been an easy trip with no one tripping you along the way. Ah yes. Life is just so easy at home.

As you walk up you begin to notice things you never noticed before. There are bars on the windows and several large, heavy locks on the door. The grass is brown and ugly. The ball barely bounces. The food you once found delicious is disgusting and leaves a stench throughout the house. The clothes in your closet are drab. The bed is hard and lumpy. You decide this wasn’t what you remembered or want out of life, but it’s too late. The home automation system has already locked you in for the night. Feeling helpless and hopeless you decide to sleep.

Waking up with the house bathed in morning light, it no longer seems so bad and you’ve once again become accustomed to the stench and taste of the food. “It’s not so bad here,” you decide. You easily slip into your old habits and routines. Then one day, as you’re sitting out on your swing you feel the breeze and it snaps you out of your daze. You remember the humid, salty, coconut scented breeze of the beach and you suddenly can’t remember why you’ve come back and certainly not why you’ve stayed so long.

You set out to leave, but it’s hard to do so again. You’re ankle monitor, which has never bothered you before, suddenly feels like it weighs 100 lbs but you drag your leg out the door. It’s a battle moving down the street.  The further you get from home the heavier the ankle monitor feels and weighs you down. The harder it gets to move. You give up and head for home. Again you find contentment in your old habits and routines.

After a while you begin day-dreaming day in and day out of the freedom you once knew. You decide to leave again. Once again the ankle monitor weighs you down, but you’re more prepared and more determined. It slows your journey until one day you realize it feels weightless again. You begin to revel once again in your true freedom. The more time you spend away from your  house the more and more realize that your house was the true prison and now you were experiencing true freedom. That even the rules that were put in place for your own protection and allowed for far more freedom than the oppression of the barred windows, drab wardrobe and tasteless, smelly slop you ate for food.

Even with this knowledge, your house still haunts your heart and yells out to you calling you home. You even decide to go home again. But standing across the street, you once again are shocked by prison-style house that stands in front of you. You break into a run to put as much space as you can between you and it. Every so often it creeps into your thoughts. But this time you have truth on your side. When you picture your house in your mind instead of seeing flower boxes you remember the bars. Instead of believing your bed is the most comfortable of feather mattresses you remember the hard lumps. Armed with the truth of your past imprisonment you began to become adept at pushing thoughts of your house away.

The thoughts and longings come less and less often the longer you’re from home. And one day you wake up and realize it holds no draw to you. You wouldn’t go back there even if someone paid you a million dollars. You swing your feet around the bed and place them on the floor and you’re astonished to find that your ankle monitor is not snapped. The lock has somehow come undone. Without hesitation you take the last piece of your life linking you to your past prison, drive down to the beach and chuck it into the vast ocean before you. You are free. Truly, completely, and totally free. As you sit down on the beach drawing your knees to your chest, you think back on your life and are astonished that you once thought your prison was freedom and that true freedom was a prison.

The Church is Like… A Hotel?

Before you throw stones at me and deem me a heretic hear me out.

In 1 Corinthians 12 Paul talks about followers of Christ belonging together as a body. A body that has many members that each have their own “jobs” or gifts. I love that analogy. Some people act as the brain, or mouth, ears, heart, hands, knees, or feet. We each have different personalities, gifts, passions, backgrounds and even baggage that leads us to be molded into a hand rather than a foot or a brain rather than an ear.

When I first started working at my hotel, I remember thinking that, in a sense, it runs like a well-oiled machine… (or body, if you will.) Each person was hired to do an individual job, and their job helps others do their jobs. I was hired to be a banquet server. I wasn’t hired to do dishes, but I’m grateful to the person who is, because that makes it possible for me to do my job… to do my part in running the hotel.

Well, a few weeks ago we had a huge conference come in for two full weeks. The banquet people were basically serving about 150 – 200 people, depending on the day. Since I don’t work often, my first day was a couple days into the event. I was surprised to find one of our front desk employees in the kitchen chopping vegetables and washing dishes. He explained that he was just working in the kitchen because they needed him to.

Throughout the next two weeks as I watched our accountant help clean tables, or front desk people chop veggies, or the General Manager help with the food prep I was struck by how much the body of Christ is like a hotel. Not only are each of us hired for a specific job, but if someone else needs help, we help, regardless of our job description. Why? Because we have one goal: To make our hotel stand out to our customers and give them a good experience, so that they will return, bringing us continued revenue (and jobs!)

So, as a member of the body of Christ, if I’m an ear, I’m no less important then a foot, nor is a hand less important than a brain. We each have been given “jobs” to do. But at the same time sometimes there’s a need, the foot is getting extra busy so the brain comes to help, or the body needs more than two hands for a time and the ears jump in to help. Why? Because we all have a common goal: To glorify God and to be the body (the arms that hug, the feet that bring food, the mouth that speaks) of Christ on earth.

A Response to Little Girls Gone Wild

[Original Article]

A hit and yet a miss…When I first ran across this article I thought, “Wow! The secular world is finally taking note of our young girls being sexualized. That’s great!” But I feel like the article left something to be desired.I completely agree that t.v. shows and movies have lead girls and tweens that dress/act inappropriately and/or have bad attitudes. But even if the shows are somewhat family friendly the tween (or younger) role models are then plastered on our news stations with drug issues, dressed like a  promiscuous college student or any number of things we don’t desire for our children.

But, that’s where my agreement with the article stops. For, she quotes Peggy Orensein the author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture. Saying that this sexualization actually starts with toddlers’ love for princesses. Wait. What?! Yes princesses. She goes on to explain that, “Sexualization is not only imposing sexuality on children before they’re ready and viewing girls as sexual objects, but also valuing a girl for her appearance over her other attributes.”

First, I have not found this definition of sexulalization anywhere. In fact, the definition according to the American Pychological Association is, “1) When a person’s worth is assumed to only come from his or her sexiness; 2) When a child is expected or encouraged to act or dress sexually; 3) When a person is treated as a sex object rather than as a whole person; and/or 4) When physical characteristics are considered to be the only indicator of sexiness.” – Now, point one and four may correlate with Orenstein’s definition but then she’s equating appearance for sexiness, and I think we need to separate the two.

I also don’t think that a love for princesses (or the princess movies) teach girls that they “should want to be the Fairest of Them All.” Why don’t I think this? Well, Cinderella was a slave in her own home working harder than the non-princess, ugly, snotty step-sisters. Snow White was sent away and worked diligently within her home made up of the seven dwarfs. Belle loved to read and think, she wanted adventure, and selflessly gave up her life for her father’s. I haven’t seen Princess and the Frog or Tangled (although, it seems like Rapunzel was portrayed as pretty vivacious!) so I can’t speak about them. Now, don’t get me wrong Snow White and Sleeping Beauty have some pretty messed up mother-figures in their lives seeking the beauty of youth and causing others harm in order to gain it, but the princesses themselves didn’t really seek beauty, rather it found them, and it was found not only in their appearance but also in their character. Besides all that, my daughter is almost three, loves her princess bed and her princess dress up, and even her plastic, jeweled, feathery high heeled shoes, but are those things in and of themselves really teaching her that physical beauty is the only place worth lies or that she is valued only for her appearance? No.

The article continues, talking about a mom who took her 4 and 7-year-olds to a salon in Disney’s theme park for the whole spa treatment and how she regretted it in the end. The girls didn’t enjoy their beauty make over and thought the treatments itchy and uncomfortable. First, I must say, 4 and 7 seems awfully young for mani/pedis and updos. But just because this is true doesn’t mean we should condemn being a “girlie-girl” either, which is what the author of the article essentially does. The author basically says that as moms we shouldn’t bond with our daughters over shopping and spa treatments. Again, is it the shopping and spa treatments that are really causing our daughters to be sexualized or even teaches our daughters that beauty is the end-all? I don’t think so and hopefully we’re bonding over other things too. And while my daughter has yet to see the most fabulous chair of all chairs, the pedicure chair, I have most certainly given her “pretty toes” a.k.a. I’ve painted her toe nails. And she loves it! Why? Because they’re like mommy’s!

Finally, the author gives suggestions about avoiding this sexualization by putting your daughter in sports rather than dance and by not sexualizing a boy-girl relationship. Like when your five-year-old daughter goes off to play with your friend’s five-year-old son you shouldn’t giggle about what a cute couple they make and plan their wedding.

While putting girls in sports is not wrong, in my experience the more sporty a girl is the more she losses her femininity, and some just don’t enjoy or are not good at sports. It’s just not a good solution. I also disagree with the idea that giggling over the cute five-year-old couple somehow sexualizes the boy-girl relationship. It’s just cute, (and I doubt at that age they realize that marriage = sex. Hopefully, mine would think marriage = friendship) and I venture to say women have done it through the ages without consequences to boy-girl relationships.

So what would my answer be to this problem within our culture? As I reflect on this I realize, our daughters view themselves a lot how their mommy views herself. I remember an older (than me) woman in my life while I was in college had a toddler daughter. She expressed the fact that she wanted to loose the rest of her baby weight, but more than anything wanted to be content with her body and her self image so that she didn’t pass those negative feelings to her daughter. This is where I think we need to start.

As mothers we need to show our girls how we dress modestly and still feminine, how we do our hair and makeup and take care of our bodies, not only for ourselves and to please our husbands, but also because we desire to glorify God. It means teaching them the joys of being a woman, even if that includes shopping and spa treatments, but making sure it includes submission to our husbands and contentment in serving our families. It means teaching our daughters through example that we don’t find our worth in how we look or what we do but rather in who we are in Christ. If we can teach our daughters and give them a firm foundation that their self-identity is grounded in Christ and not the world I think we will have done our jobs. This may include getting rid of television and magazines, even worldly dance classes, and certain music, but that doesn’t mean we should have to forgo entertainment and the arts in general, raising our girls to dislike the femininity that comes with womanhood.

So whether our girls play sports or aspire to be a prima ballerina, a CEO or a homemaker, let’s teach them an appropriate view of sex and sexuality. Let’s teach them to be feminine and beautiful, yet that true beauty comes from who we are on the inside. Let’s teach them how to find their worth as a daughter of Christ. Most of all, let us ask God to mold us into being the ultimate role model for our daughters.

Now, will someone help me be that kind of mother!

Note: There are other things about the article that I question/disagree with, but a blog can only be so long.

Moses’ Mother

I don’t like rereading books. Even my favorite book Pride and Prejudice I have only read once. I tried to read it again years later, but I had listened to the audio version and seen multiple movies based on the storyline that the book no longer held wonder and suspense. I already knew what was going to happen. My attitude was, “Yeah, yeah, Lydia runs off with this guy. Yuck. Mr. Darcy’s sisters are mean. Get on with the good stuff.” Unfortunately this happens all too often with me and really good books. Even ones that hold good spiritual wisdom.

I think for some of us this happens with the Bible. We grow up in the church and we hear Bible stories over and over from the time we’re very little. The stories no longer hold a feeling of wonder and suspense. We know Joseph will rise to power when he’s sold as a slave and later thrown in prison. We know David will defeat Goliath and that Daniel will come out of the lion’s den unscathed. We don’t really feel the agony of the Biblical character. We don’t think about their faith and trust in God, or their feelings of despondency because we already know everything will be OK.

I’ve been reading the book The Invisible Hand by R.C. Sproul. The book is about God’s providence. I’m in chapter 4 and in each chapter he’s kind of highlighted a different story and shown how God’s providence has worked through the details. Chapter 4 is about Moses. And it really hit me.

When Moses was born Pharaoh had “commanded all his people, ‘Every son that is born to the Hebrews you shall cast into the Nile, but you shall let every daughter live.’” Because this was commanded to “all his people” I’m assuming that if any Egyptian saw a Hebrew baby boy they had every right to take the child from the mother and toss the little boy into the Nile. Can you imagine? Exodus 2 tells us that Moses’ mother (we don’t know her name) [Correction: Her name is Jochebed, found in Exodus 6:20] hid him for 3 months and that she could do so no longer. I’m thinking that more than likely someone found out about the little Hebrew baby boy and she felt the panic of having someone knock down her door and wrench her baby out of her arms only to have him tossed into the river.

So, she made a basket  (Talk about crafty! I wonder if she was wishing she had better materials), covered it with tar and pitch (Hoping it wouldn’t leak. I mean, could she really assure herself at this point in time of it’s buoyancy or it being leak proof?), and put the little boat in the river. The mother knew that she couldn’t raise her little baby. She didn’t spy Pharaoh’s daughter and purposefully float the baby to her. No, she put the baby in the river, the very place the child was supposed to be cast into the river, thrown to his death. She couldn’t allow it, so she did what she could to extend his life, just a bit longer. I wonder if other mothers were doing the same thing.

Miriam, the baby’s sister stood at a distance “to know what would be done to him.” I wonder if her mother asked her to come with her and follow the basket, or if out of childhood curiosity, sneaked out of the house and followed her mother wondering what her mom was doing with her brother. She saw her mom place the baby in the river and then, as far as we know, continued to watch the basket. For how long, we don’t know.

At this point, Moses’s mother probably went home to mourn the loss of her child. The basket wasn’t to be his salvation, it was only supposed to cushion the sure death that would eventually befall him. Can you imagine, she kissed her baby’s head, placed him in the basket, watching to see that it wouldn’t immediately sink, the tears falling already as she says goodbye to her son. She runs home to mourn in peace, only to have Miriam bursting through the door sometime later. “Mommy, Mommy!” An exhausted, emotionally depleted mother loving her daughter but missing her son, “What child?!” “Mommy, Pharaoh’s daughter found our baby and wants to raise him, but needs a wet nurse. Come quickly! I told her I would bring her a Hebrew wet nurse!”

I’m sure if Moses’ mother did know that Miriam was watching over the basket she was expecting Miriam’s statement to be, “The basket sank, Mama, baby brother is gone.” Or “I followed the river as far as I could. He’s floating safely away.” Instead, she got something that was completely unexpected: More time with her precious baby. She probably never dreamed in a thousand years that Yaweh would bring her baby boy back to her. But according to God’s providence he swirled the river’s rapids to carry the basket down the river, to have Pharaoh’s daughter bathe right as the basket was near by. He softened her heart (Remember, she had every right to find the baby and toss him in the water, no questions asked. Doing that would have been obedient to her father.) God had Miriam close by and gave her the quick wit to offer to get a Hebrew woman for the wet nurse. God provided in a miraculous, unexpected way for Moses’ family.

Here I sit in 2011, friends from church have traveled to Haiti and are building a house and providing much needed food to people in the hospital. Here I sit a week from my car accident while  Japan is trying to survive from their earthquake and avoid the worst of a nuclear melt down. Here I sit wondering what car to drive while people in New Zealand are still wondering where they will live.

The Lord is great. He will provide a vehicle for my family and I believe it will, in the end, be a blessing. But I tend to be near-sighted about things, to be impatient, and want answers now. I am thankful that I still have a standing house. I know the Lord is great and he has a purpose behind the earthquakes in Japan, Haiti, and New Zealand. I can have comfort in the providence of God to bring us all through another day. And I pray for the people of those countries that they will not only be provided with the food and shelter that they so desperately need and seek but that the Lord will also reveal Himself to them and give them the everlasting hope and joy that comes in knowing God and being able to rest in His providence.

As He is in control of the swirl of a river to save Moses from sure death, He is in control of a rumbling ground, and a car accident in Midvale, UT. Thank you Lord for your sure hand.

God’s Meticulous Sovereignty

This past week my Bible study  group we discussed Romans 9. God’s sovereignty vs. free will that whole debate, you know. Since, we attend the same church and are taught by the same pastor, we mostly agreed. However, towards the end, I mentioned how I believed that God was sovereign over and predestined literally everything even down to the shirt I wear. My friend disagreed with me.

She read Acts 17:26 “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.” And argued that place could mean western hemisphere instead of  1796 Forest Dr. (fake address) and that time could mean born in the 80′s or the internet era instead of June 19th 1982 (fake birthday). My argument was no, that God ordained for me to be born in Aurora, IL on my specific date of birth and to move to Naples, FL about 1 1/2 years later so that I would interact with specific neighbors and classmates and have specific experiences that shaped who I am today and how I affect and interact with people that he now has me interact with, etc. etc.

She argued that if God predestined every little detail, then he also predestines my sin. Oooo…. that made me feel squeemish. And she said she’d need some scripture to back it up. Well, I had a verse in mind but I couldn’t find it. So, I was basically tripped up. And walked away thinking, “Should I really believe that God predestines everything little thing right down to the exact blades of grass that I step on outside?”

After a conversation with my husband and finding of scriptures, studying of online articles and blogs, sections of books by theologians and even a little of the Westminster Confession, my conclusion is yes. Yes, I do believe in God’s Meticulous Sovereignty and it is a wonderful and comforting thing.

So, why do I believe it? First, Matthew 10:29-31, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  So, basically what the verse is saying is that something that costs 1/2 a penny (What costs 1/2 a penny today? Nothing, not even gum… that’s how insignificant they are.) won’t die apart from God’s will. So, if that’s true, then why wouldn’t other seemingly insignificant things be a part of God’s will.

The other most significant verse is Ephesians 1:11, “In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,” So does that me literally ALL things, big and small, or all seemingly significant things? If a teenager said, “I did all my homework mom.” Would the mother assume all the homework is done, down to every last problem, or would she assume that most of it is done, and definitely the significant assignments? Personally, I would assume all of it was done, down to the last problem, there’s no reason for me to think otherwise, unless an exception is made.

The other noteworthy and thought-provoking thing that I want to bring up is a quote from R.C. Sproul’s book Chosen by God. “If there is one single molecule in this universe running around loose, totally free of God’s sovereignty, then we have no guarantee that a single promise of God will ever be fulfilled. Perhaps that one maverick molecule will lay waste all the grand and glorious plans that God has made and promised to us. If a grain of sand in the kidney of Oliver Cromwell changed the course of English history, so our maverick molecule could change the course of redemption history. Maybe that one molecule will be the thing that prevents Christ from returning… There are no maverick molecules.” (p. 26-27)

That is quite the powerful statement. This was my thought process:

- How ridiculous. God is more powerful than a dinky little molecule. Of course God wouldn’t let a molecule ruin his plans.

- Well, that’s true, but how does God make sure that a dinky little molecule doesn’t ruin his plans?

- By ordaining and being in control of exactly where that molecule is, at all times, and exactly what it bounces into.

Hmmm… that’s pretty powerful to me. God controls all things so that Christ will return and triumph.

So, what does that do with my sin then? Does God predestine sin? Well, yes. He predestined the sins of Joseph’s brothers when they sold him into slavery so that later Joseph could save his family from famine. God also predestined the most heinous of sin, the death of Christ. (Acts 4:27-28, Acts 2:23) So, God predestines my sin, for a purpose, and at the same time I’m held accountable for my sin. A la Romans 9! “19 You will say to me then, ‘Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?’ 20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, ‘Why have you made me like this?’ 21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?”

The best thing I can recommend is to read this article on the issue.

And this video is good too!

Let me leave you with this beautiful poem that I found here.

Sov’reign Ruler of the skies,
Gracious, ever wise;
All my times are in thy hand,
All events at thy command.

His decree who form’d the earth
Fix’d my first and second birth;
Parents, native place, and time,
All appointed were by him.

He that form’d me in the womb,
He shall guide me to the tomb;
All my times shall ever be
Order’d by his wise decree.

Times of sickness; times of health;
Times of penury and wealth;
Times of trial and of grief;
Times of triumph and relief;

Times the tempter’s power to prove;
Times to taste the Saviour’s love
All must come, and last, and end,
As shall please my heavenly Friend.

Plagues and deaths around me fly;
Till he bids, I cannot die;
Not a single shaft can hit,
Till the God of love sees fit.

John Ryland (1753-1825)

Note: “”penury” = extreme poverty
Source: The Providence of God by Paul Helm (Downer’s Grove, IL: InterVarsity), 1993.

Response to the Glorification of Childlessness

So, I found this blog, childfreedom, because of another blog and it’s (in one sense) response to the Top 10 Reasons Not to Have Kids. I was somewhat shocked and disgusted at the 100 reasons. At the same time, if you’d rather have breakable objects in your home than children, or are concerned about being able to eat what you want when you want, or that your tv viewing experience won’t be kid-oriented or kid-interrupted, etc. etc. etc. If all of these reasons resonate with you, then please don’t have children. Every single one of these reasons was a self-centered one, accept for possibly the one about the negative effect a new person adds on the environment. But, even then if you’re more concerned about landfills, than human life… well…

Anyhow, I read a few of the articles on the blog and I was simply shocked at the attitudes of the author and the commentators about children and the drain they were on society and the environment and how thoughtless and selfish those of us with children are.

The author seems to think that if you have children, than you didn’t give it any thought and you just did what society is telling you to do, ie have children, or you’re a selfish person wanting to have someone to love you or someone that you can vicariously live through. It doesn’t even enter into her thought paradigm that there are those of us who chose to have children because we felt like mothering was the highest, most honorable, important job that a woman can have and desiring to raise up a generation of children that can spread the gospel and glorify God. Well, of course that doesn’t enter her thoughts, since she is more than likely a postmodern agnostic/atheist realm.

The second article or rather the comments it received really offended me more than the first. She wrote a post Play Dates: Reason Enough Not to Have Kids. She began to describe this play group, apparently, and the politics of it. Nothing in the article was even remotely familiar in my life and our play dates. But even so, the childless commentators began to criticize those of us with children for over scheduling our children and wanting to do something fun for them, such as take them to a park to play with friends. I was kind of surprised how opinionated these childless people were about child rearing. I’m sorry, but you don’t get an opinion! Because trust me, having a child will change it. And what ever type of situation you’re speaking of with regards to play dates, that is not the reality for any parents I know.

The fact that the decision of having a child is boiled down to how much waste they will acquire through their lifetime, or not wanting to give up my “me” time, or wanting to be able to give your pets the love they desire, is sickening to me. Also, let me just say, pets are not children, they are not sons and daughters, they are not human beings and your pet is not as important as my child. Human beings trump animals and animals are not “people too.” Human beings are made in the image of God which, makes us more an important than the not-made-in-the-image-of-God animals.

My last thought to a childless person who wanders on here and notices the bird houses post from just days before. Let me assure you, that while I’m not ecstatic about getting paint on my carpet, and I’m not sure how long that paint will remain, I do know that those bird houses will be cherished for years to come, and I would MUCH rather have paint on my carpet and two beautiful, delightful, mischievous children, than a pristine house.

Childless by Choice vs. Childless by Choice After Two

Wow! I was reading a blog article that someone linked to on Facebook. (Article 1)

This article referred to another one on a different blog. She did not post the link but a quick search is all it takes to find it, and I was intrigued. (Article 2)

I am simply amazed. There are two sides to this coin and I’m just shocked at some of the things the childfree group says. I’m not so amazed at what the conservative Christians are saying because I’ve heard it and that’s the culture I belong to. Obviously I lean more to the second group.

So, first observations about the original article 1. The article refers to a list of the top 100 reasons NOT to have children. Which is filled with selfishness. It is completely a me-centered attitude. At the end the author basically puts forth the question, What’s the difference between childless by choice and childless by choice after two? (She was not being dogmatic about it, but simply putting it out there. The following “discussion” through comments I found very thought-provoking.

Here’s the thing, there are often times the conservative Christian side of the coin that says, you must be willing to have as many children as God wants you to have by not using any kind of birth control. You shouldn’t try to control the number of children or child spacing. Then there are other conservative Christians, who do use birth control and other methods to “control” the number of children and spacing in their home. (Control is in quotes because ultimately God is in control, no matter what, but we all know what I mean.) Anyhow, I guess what gets to me is those that don’t think limiting the number of children in your home is a valid option. It’s simply seen as selfish. I know myself, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, but while I love being a mother, it’s a hard job! I want to be wise with the limitations that God has given me physically, emotionally, and just personality-wise. Is that showing a lack of trust in God? I guess technically the answer is yes, that God knows my limitations even better than I do, but I don’t trust God perfectly with anything. And for people to critize with, “You trust God in everything else, why not children.” Is a little bit of a mute point. I struggle with trusting God with our finances, with healing, with time, and a multitude of other things. Is that an excuse? Probably not. At least not a good one, but there it is all the same.

So, originally all these comments had me thinking about all my selfish reasons for not adopting another child. (While I want to my husband is hesitant, which has made me hesitant. But even so, I’m at a place where I don’t really want more than 3 children right now and I have 2) Anyhow, then I started thinking, if God controls the number of children in a family simply through the opening and closing of a woman’s womb combined with the idea of “We’re not trying but we’re not preventing” lead me to wonder… God closed my womb, so was I being sinful by pursuing adoption. God knows me better than me, did he know that two would be too many children for me and one was enough? (I don’t really think this because I really do believe God brought Lydia to our family) But now I just have the question rolling around, if one can expand their family outside the womb, then why is one not allowed to constict the size of the family with the womb?

I’m usually a middle ground type of person. If you want to leave your womb open for God to give you as many children as He desires, that’s fine, that’s your decision between your family and God. Although, with a family like the Duggars (on 18?) with doctor’s saying it’s unhealthy and dangerous for her to have more children, it might be getting to the irresponsible part. On the other side, if you want to limit your family size to 2, 3, 4, or more children who am I to say that is not the right decision for their family, I don’t know all of the surrounding circumstances. (And is a family that stops at 6 more godly than one that stops at 2? Is a family that has only been blessed with 2 even with a lack of birth control more godly that a family that decided to stop and use birth control after 6 kids?) I do know one thing, of the families that I know that have chosen to limit their family size, I don’t know a single one that would not be overjoyed and in love with their child once the accident shock of it wore off. God creating in them a capacity that they thought they didn’t think they had, but at the same time were trying to be responible and wise considering their family and the circumstances God has given them.

I could continue to think and ramble, but I think I’m just going to let this lie.

Reflection of Oquirrh Temple Tour

* Before you take a tour of the temple they have you watch an informational video about LDS temples and the local area. One of the higher up men in the video made the statement, “I can’t imagine heaven without my wife and children… Heaven just wouldn’t be heaven without them.” That man, has completely missed the point of what heaven is. If he were a true Christian, Christ-centered person, he would say, “Heaven just wouldn’t be heaven without Christ.” His statement reveals an underlying, unsaid way of thinking in the LDS religion, that family is more important than God.

*All of the paintings, other than that of scenery, were depictions of Bible stories (possibly all revolving around Christ.) why is this a bad thing, you ask? Because the LDS church teaches that the Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ and, in fact, it is more correct than the Bible. If this is the case, than why didn’t your temple reflect that? Why wasn’t there one single picture depicting a Book of Mormon scene? It made me feel like they were trying to hide something or be conniving in some way. And in fact ex-LDS say that after the temple is sealed and only members can go through, they do change the pictures, and hang some of Joseph Smith as well. The LDS church is manipulating the situation, trying to make themselves seem like something they’re not.

*There was absolutely no one to ask questions to. We were given a silent tour. Now, some tours may have guides, but we had a silent tour. Now, they have set up signs telling you which room is what, but 90% of the room say, “Instruction Room: Where people receive instruction about their faith.” or something like that. Well, that’s not very explanatory. Afterwards, you are invited to the reception tent, but besides the people serving cookies, I only saw one missionary, and she looked like she was on a break, eating a cookie. There was basically no one to ask simple questions to. Why?

*Going through the temple did not answer my questions about the secrecy and privacy of the LDS temple stuff, but rather created more questions. What exactly is this room for? What exactly happens when you come to the temple? What are endowments? Can anyone simply come and enjoy the Celestial room? What exactly is instructed in these instruction rooms? Do they really need another temple accommodating about 600 female lockers, and up to four weddings at one time? (Remember LDS don’t have a wedding season, nor are their weddings usually on Saturdays but rather throughout the week.)

*Would I recommend others going and seeing it?  I think it is helpful for those living in Utah and are immersed in the culture. Even if, for no other reason, to spark your curiousity and put a fire under your feet to study  a little bit more than normal about “The Church.” If you enjoy beautiful architecture and find craftsmanship, absolutely go and see it. It is, undoubtedly a beautiful building. Unfortunately it represents something very ugly and deceitful.

Information Before Reflection on Temple Tour

If you are not aware of Mormon culture or the religion, let me explain a few things first.

Mormons = The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints = LDS (and yes, “JESUS CHRIST” is in all caps. They like to point out Christ is in their name because he’s lacking elsewhere.) So those terms are synonymous.

Second, a large part of being Mormon revolves around their temple. To be a good Mormon, one must be “temple worthy.” In order to be temple worthy, you go through a temple recommend interview. I don’t know all that’s asked, but they make sure that you’ve been giving 10% of your income (yes they have financial statements), that you haven’t had coffee, that you aren’t cussing, that you’ve attended a high percentage of Sunday services, etc. etc. If you pass this interview and are deemed worthy to enter the temple, you receive a temple recommend. (Please note: One cannot be worthy to receive the best that God has to offer unless they are temple worthy and have been through the temple.)

If you are single and LDS, you strive to have a temple marriage, meaning both you and your fiance must be temple worthy. And only temple worthy family members can attend your ceremony. So, your best friend, or little sister who is yet too young to get married or take out their endowments, cannot attend your wedding ceremony. While this is a completely foreign thought to outsiders, it’s understandable to those in LDS culture.

If you’ve been married in the temple, then you are also sealed for all time and eternity to each other and all future children. If you became a member after you were wed, then you and your spouse can be sealed in the temple to each other and your children. This idea of being sealed means that you can be together forever with your family in the afterlife. What they fail to mention, is that there are stipulations. If one or more of those sealed family members are not worthy to enter the highest of heaven’s three levels, then you will not be together. (There are a couple other logical fallacies that I’ll refrain from explaining.)

The temple is also used for baptisms for the dead. Their belief is that after earth life there is a spirit prison and spirit paradise. Anyone, who has not received the restored gospel of the LDS church goes to spirit prison. (Since the true gospel was gone off this earth since shortly after Christ, everyone between then and Joseph Smith would be in spirit prison, even people like Martin Luther.) But it’s ok, if you’re in spirit prison because you get another chance to hear and accept the restored gospel. However, one would still have to be baptized and have the laying on of hands (giving to the Holy Spirit) in order to enter a higher level of heaven. This is where baptism for the dead comes in. In the temple, one gets baptized for a dead person by proxy, and then has the Holy Spirit conferred to them. Then the person in spirit prison can choose to accept or reject this baptism in their name. And of course, if you’ve accepted the restored gospel in spirit prison, there’s no reason to reject the baptism done in your name. (There are or at least have been proxy marriages performed too.)

The last thing, that I’m aware of, that is done in the temple is the taking out of your endowments. What that means exactly, I’m not sure. However, most women take out their endowments and get married on the same day. LDS missionaries will go through the temple and get their endowments before they leave for their mission. It is at this time that you would be given (or have the opportunity to purchase) temple garments (the special underwear). If you stop wearing them, however, you would fail your next temple recommend interview.

There are lots of questions that I do have about the temple, not the least of which is EXACTLY what happens when you “go through the temple.” But they also have the Celestial Room, which is supposed to represent heaven. My question there, is when do you go into the Celestial room? If I’m a “card-carrying” Mormon can I go and enjoy “heaven on earth” at any time, or only after I’ve done some sort of ceremony and which ceremony?

My next post will be about my impressions of the Oquirrh (South Jordan) Temple.

For more information:

http://www.mrm.org/#articles (Look under “The Mormon Temple” there are several different articles)