No, I’m not talking about the store nor am I giving tips on how to get a thigh gap… I’m the LAST person you should ask about that! Rather I am speaking of the gap in age between my children. I have a 9-year-old, a 7-year-old and an 1-year old. So you see, there’s a big, 6 year gap between daughter #1 and daughter #2. It wasn’t my choice for there to be such a large gap, but as most Christians know… God ways are not our ways.
This is what I’ve learned from that gap:
- I enjoy the gap immensely! I always wanted my children close in age. My brothers are 3 1/2 and 8 1/2 years older than me and growing up I always wished that we were closer in age. Naturally, I then desired that for my children. However, God knew I needed a break. When Hannah, my youngest, came to us the older kids were in school. This gave me a lot of one-on-one time with my baby. I was able to enjoy her and the baby stage of life without also struggling with a major life trauma. That first year of babyhood with little Hannah was more than I could have ever asked for.
- It gets easier! (At least in a sense.) Don’t get me wrong, there are still some major challenges as the kids get older and some that aren’t as easy to deal with. Discipline and scratched knees at age 3 is pretty straight forward, but when you’re dealing with an older child lying regularly or being treated poorly by others in the neighborhood, your heart breaks and you often find yourself at a loss on how to handle the situation. But, the constant demands of having small children goes away. And those constant demands are HARD!!! My house got to a point where it stayed pretty dang clean (and quiet) and I have to admit… I liked having a clean house!
- You forget how hard those toddlers are! So #2 is nothing new. Every mom of young children has heard, “It gets easier!” I’m not sure how helpful it is to hear that, even if it’s true, because little ones take a lot out of you. Here’s something that most moms don’t realize. They forget just how hard it was! Last year, having a baby, was easy peasy (she was an easy baby.) But man! Having a one-year-old is non-stop work! She is all over the house and can navigate the stairs well! She gets into everything: I’m folding laundry while she’s taking clothes out of drawers. I’m sweeping the floor while she’s taking all the books off the shelf. I’m cleaning the toilet while she’s unrolling a roll of toilet paper down the hall. I get tired just thinking about it! Would I trade my toddler for a clean house? NOT EVER! But, see, I just thought I had finally gotten a hold on this whole mother thing. Ha! In reality, my older kids were just at school for large portion of the day!
- I no longer regret the passage of time. I know how fast time flies, from experience, so I am more willing to stop what I’m doing and read a book, stack blocks, or give raspberries now than I was with my older two. At the same time, I also know just how many awesome childhood experiences are coming up. While I miss my snuggly baby times, I LOVE my babbling toddler times, but also look forward to the conversations I will have when she’s 7. This also helps me to slow down and better engage with my older kids. I enjoy who they are at 7 and 9, they have really neat individual personalities.
And when I see their baby/toddler pictures, I smile and love that little person. But I’m glad that John is no longer 1, I’m glad he’s reading novels, writing Star Wars songs, loving science and asking questions about the Bible. I love that Lydia is a social butterfly, who loves crafts, friends, and playing outside. This is good and it is right.
Sometimes I call Hannah my “dangly baby” because the first two are so close together and then there’s the 6 year gap. And while I didn’t plan to have a “dangly baby” I’m glad I do, and I highly recommend it! 😉 I can’t imagine life any other way. I’m so glad that God blessed me with Hannah and if having Hannah means having a 6 year gap, I’d do it over again in a heartbeat!