The Mind and Marriage

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Col. 3:1-3

My first two years of college were spent at a small Christian school in Georgia. I have a vivid memory of driving across town and having a discussion with at least two others about Christians and divorce. I don’t remember who said this, but it has always stuck with me. He said, “My mom once told me that when she gets angry with my dad she focuses on what she loves about him, even if – at that moment – the only thing she loves about him is the way he ties his shoes.” This woman, had spent her marriage training her mind to love her husband.

I wish I could that this anecdote stuck with me in such a way that I have spent the last 14 years training my mind to love my husband, but that isn’t the case. Instead, when I am angry I tear him down in my mind and list everything that frustrates me. I can tell you from experience, nothing good comes from this practice.

Another thing that gets in the way of training my mind to love my husband are my emotions. People often talk about how women are much more emotional than men and how they are led by their emotions rather than their minds. When I hear these things I’m slightly offended. I like to think of myself as an intellectual. And in some areas of life, I am. However, I also know that I am very emotional and sometimes irrational. There are have been times where I have accused Aaron, “You don’t love me.” And he would respond, “That’s a lie.” Or I might say, “I don’t feel like you love me.” And he might respond, “Well, your feelings are wrong.” I’m sure you can imagine how frustrated his responses have made me. However, his responses were true. My feelings and my thoughts were wrong and they needed to be reigned in by my mind.

God gave us our minds to learn about Him and to worship Him. Before we get to Colossians 3, Paul tells the Colossians that he prays for them asking that they be filled with the knowledge of God’s will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding (1:9) and that they will increase in their knowledge of God (1:10). He points out that before they were reconciled to Christ, they were hostile in mind (1:21). Paul explains that he became a minister so the word of God would be fully known (1:25). Paul’s desire is that they would reach a full understanding and knowledge of Christ in whom are hidden all the treasure of wisdom and knowledge (2:2-3). He warns them NOT to be deluded with plausible arguments (2:4) nor be taken captive by philosophy and empty deceit according to human tradition and the world (2:8). He warns that anyone trying to disqualify them in regards to the ceremonial law is puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind (2:18) And finally that while regulations (read legalism) may have the appearance of wisdom they, in fact, have no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh (2:23).

It is with this backdrop that we come to chapter three verses one and two. “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.” This word “seek” is an action word. Instead you could say, “keep seeking”  “continually seek” or “don’t stop seeking” the things that are above. And then verse two tells us to set our minds on the things above.

We should be fixated on, oriented towards the things above. I was thinking about this idea of setting my mind or fixing my mind to something in terms of driving. When I’m driving down the road, where should my attention be? On. The. Road. If I turn around and start rummaging for something in the back seat or type an text on my phone while driving what’s going to happen? Nothing good! But when I drive I keep my eyes on the road. I may glance at the person in the passenger seat, turn on the radio, or look in the rear view mirror but my attention is being continually refocused on the road. At the same time, just because I’m driving doesn’t mean I can’t do anything else. I could listen to music. But the fact that I’m driving and focused on the road might change what type of music I listen to. I might not choose a slow, soft, melodic song that soothes me to sleep. Just like remaining focused on the road affects my behavior and choices while I’m driving so should setting my mind on the things above. And just like I continually refocus my attention to the road, I need to be continually refocusing my mind on the things above.

So, then the question becomes what are the things above? I believe verse 1 answers that question, “seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God” Our Lord and Savior is above seated at the right hand of God the Father. So, how do we focus on the things above? For that let’s skip down to verse 16 which says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”

So, how do we set our minds on the things above? There were four ways listed in verse 16. The first is to let the word of God dwell in us. How do we do that? We read it. We memorize it. We study it. We listen to it. Doing those things will lead to us meditating on it.

Have you ever watched a tv show or read a news article and found yourself thinking about it the next day? In a sense you’re meditating on the show or article, you’re reflecting on it, thinking about it, processing it. I find that the more I am in the word or reading good books and articles or listening to talks/podcasts/sermons the more my mind thinks on godly things. I recall what I read or heard and process it again. I talk about it. I share it.

The second way to set your mind on the things above is to teach and admonish one another in all wisdom. When you teach someone, you first have to learn something and learn it even more deeply and thoroughly. One definition of admonish is to advise or urge someone earnestly. (Kind of like I’m doing right now, about setting your minds on the things above.) Regardless of whether you are teaching or advising, it forces your mind to think and learn about what you are going to talk about! And lest we do so in our own folly, the verse says to teach and admonish in all wisdom. Where can wisdom be found? In the Bible. Again, focusing on the Bible so you can teach or admonish others, helps you to set your mind on the things above.

The third way to seek the things above is by singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. If I said “shake it off” I venture to guess that the majority, if not all, of you heard Taylor Swift in your mind, and if you’re like me you started dancing a little. Music sticks in our minds and hearts. Songs get stuck in our heads. What’s better to be stuck in your head, “Shake it Off” Or “Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe.”? While I am currently in a stage of life where I value and prefer silence, I have to admit that music simply lifts my spirits! I have a Spotify playlist of my favorite worship songs that I’ve picked up throughout the years and occasionally I’ll turn it on while I clean. And every time I do I think to myself, “Why don’t I turn on music more often.” It soothes my soul. It reminds me of the promises of God and the great things Christ has done for my life! I worship God for how great he is and the way he has turned a wretch like me into a righteous saint. Music is a gift God!

Finally, we set our minds on the things above with thankfulness in our hearts to God. Complaining and thankfulness are mutually exclusive. They are opposites. You can’t complain and be thankful at the same time. Aaron is one of the most thankful people I know. For example, I start to complain about having to take the van into get an oil change and he’ll immediately correct my attitude. “Stacie! Why are you complaining about this? Be thankful that you have a van that needs an oil change and money to get it done. That van has kept us safe and driven us across the country and back. We have amazing memories in that van. Be thankful that God has blessed us with such an amazing vehicle!” Again, while in the moment this can annoy me (I just want to complain about my routine being interrupted by an oil change.) he is right in pointing out to me the ways God has blessed us. He is helping me to train my mind and heart to be thankful.

Now, you may be thinking what does any of this have to do with marriage?! I’m going to jump backwards now to verse 12. I believe that setting our minds on the things above will consequently help us to put on compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience as Paul is urging us to do. It will help us to bear with one another and forgive each other. It will help us to put on love so that we may be bound together in perfect harmony.

Remember this was written for the church. When we see the one another’s in scriptures (and there’s a lot of them) it is especially speaking of our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Well, who is your closest brother? Your husband! We are to have unity in the church, yes, but even more so as husband and wife! We are not two people but we are one flesh.

So, imagine your marriage, if both of you had your minds focused on Christ and so your lives reflected compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness and love, then do you think it would be difficult for you to submit to him, as we are commanded in verse 18? Or would your husband would have hard time loving you and being gentle toward you as he is commanded in verse 19? I humbly submit to you that it would not be. The more my husband grows in Christ the better he treats me and the easier it is to submit to him. The more I grow the easier it is for him to be sweet to me and love me.

Now, I know there may be husbands that are not setting their minds on Christ, but let me encourage you to do so all the more. 1 Peter 3 encourages us by saying that husbands can won without a word by the conduct of their wives. So win your husband by setting your mind on Christ and allowing the spirit to sanctify you.

If we set our minds on the things of Christ, it will be easy to train our minds to love our husbands. It will be easy to forgive them, it will be easy to admit our own wrongdoing.  So the next time you and your husband get into an argument, train your mind to love your husband. Stop tearing him down and begin to thank God for him and list everything you love about him and I bet the marriage will be the better for it.


Published in: on October 29, 2017 at 5:21 pm  Leave a Comment  

Unconditional Love

While the Bible never mentions the word “trinity” the concept is in there and with it we learn about God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. They each share attributes, but also have different roles. We are taught about God the Father’s love for us in that He loved us so much, that he sent God the Son to be the once and for all sacrifice that was needed to cleanse each of us from our sins. If we trust in Jesus as our savior, we are no longer held liable for our debts (sins) and are now seen as righteous (sinless). The Father loves us. He loves me.



The Bible draws analogies for God the Father and our earthly fathers. In Matthew 7 Jesus reminds us that we as parents (fathers) know how to give bread instead of rocks to our children, and asks how much more would a holy, perfect Father in heaven know how to give good things. And so our relationship with our earthly father becomes an analogy for our relationship with our Heavenly Father. If we feel loved by our earthly father than we should have some type of understanding of the love our Heavenly Father has for us.

That might be easy for those of us with good earthly fathers. Unfortunately, we live in a broken world. A world where kids don’t have fathers or they have abusive/neglectful fathers and so this analogy can be difficult for some people.

However, there are three people who have taught me more about God’s unconditional love for me than my earthly father has (and I’ve got an amazing earthly father). Those three people are my children.

Children love their parents unconditionally. I can really mess up. I sometimes get really angry at my kids and yell at them and say things that may be true, but in an unkind way. I’m being sanctified in this area. However, when I do mess up, I ask my kids for forgiveness and they instantly forgive me, and not only is their forgiveness immediate, our relationship is instantly repaired. They truly have forgiven and forgotten. They don’t keep a record of wrongs. And I’m not alone in this. Even children of abusive and neglectful parents love their parents!

Now, I understand that these children will continue to grow up and at some point in time it becomes harder to forgive quickly and forget easily but for now they do. And right now they are teaching me about my Heavenly Father’s unconditional love.

My children don’t care if I’m slightly overweight, out of style, and wear no makeup, they love me and think I’m beautiful. They are happy when I’m happy and show compassion and comfort me when I’m sad. They love spending time with me and would love for me to give them even more attention than I do. But even when we just don’t get a whole lot of time together, they still love me. And like I said earlier they are so quick to forgive me, even when I have a hard time forgiving myself.

All of those qualities are true of my Heavenly Father. He doesn’t care about my size, my fashion sense, or how much makeup I wear. He loves me and thinks I’m beautiful. He wants me to have an ultimate happiness and has compassion and comforts me when I’m hurting. He loves spending time with me and wants to spend even more time with me. And he’s so quick – so quick – to forgive and to see Christ in me.

So if you’re having a hard time feeling God’s love, think about your young children. Think about how they love you. How their eyes light up when they see you and how they long to spend time with you! Even if you don’t have a tangible “feeling” of God’s love, know that He does.


Published in: on December 23, 2015 at 10:48 pm  Leave a Comment  

A New Kind of Legalism

What do you think of when you think of legalism? I think of self-righteous people who look down on others for *gasp* drinking beer, or dancing, or playing cards, or… I think of people who look down on a woman who has a sexual past because they can’t seem to understand that the broken woman is a new creation in Christ. To me, these issues seem to be a thing of the past. I don’t live in the Bible belt, so I assume this problem still exists. However, I am surrounded by amazing believers who understand the grace of the Bible. We’re all gross and disgusting sinners. How dare I look down on a sister for her sexual past when bitterness has stripped joy from my life in years past?

However, it seems like there’s a new wave of legalism out there. It’s not about looking down on people for the bad things or sins that they are/were caught up in, but rather it’s about judging others because they’re not DOING something. (And that something is specifically tied to whatever the person is passionate about.) Don’t get me wrong, as Christians we SHOULD be loving others. However, there’s a movement of restless people who think, “If you’re not adopting/working to end human trafficking/feeding the hungry in third world countries/etc. then there’s something lacking in your Christian faith.” or “Look at me, look at what I am doing/did for the gospel, what are you doing?” It’s a haughty, self-righteous attitude.

There are a handful of new books floating around that have changed people’s lives and have spurred them to do amazing things for the gospel. But these same books are fostering this attitude of self-righteousness. They spurn middle-class life and basically say there are no excuses for not doing what they promote as a worthy cause. This is a new burden placed on believers.

Here’s the thing though. Outsiders don’t necessarily know what’s going on within the family. What about…

  • the family who is strategically sharing the gospel with their middle class neighbors
  • the family that provides bread and milk for the less fortunate down the street
  • the family that gives up autonomous life and works to support and live with a disabled family member
  • the family that fosters children
  • the wife who’s desire is to serve others more, but needs to submit to her unbelieving, or less mature husband
  • the family that sacrifices family time for misc ministry purposes
  • the family that still lives well but donates 1/2 their income
  • the woman who cleans the church weekly
  • the man who is faithful to stack chairs, etc.

The point is, is that sometimes the Christian life does not call people to travel to a foreign country, adopt a child, or even evangelize on the street. Sometimes the Christian life calls people to labor where they are, for the people already in their circle of acquaintance. They are called to do the invisible jobs. The Bible calls us to live in such a way where the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing. So, if you are a disciple of Christ who has been called to something public (like adoption, I mean, it’s really hard to keep that secret) that’s AWESOME! But don’t become self-righteous and look down on others who don’t have a heart for [enter your passion here]. Assume the best of your brothers and sisters in Christ. God has (or will) more than likely burdened their hearts with something, but you may never hear about it. It may be something that is only between them and God and you will never know of the sacrifice they have given.

Let’s get rid of the old legalism and let’s get rid of the new legalism. Let’s get rid of this, “What are YOU doing?” mentality and remember that the Christian life is often about doing, in that by doing we’re loving others, but it’s also about being; simply resting in who Christ is and what He has done. I don’t HAVE to DO because of what He has DONE. And the only reason we DO (read love) is because I am FIRST loved. Don’t be impatient with those who are behind you on this amazing road of Christ. Meet them where THEY are but keep in mind, they might be ahead of you because of the secret sacrifices they’ve made that you’ll never know about.

Published in: on March 31, 2015 at 9:44 pm  Leave a Comment  

A Culture That Hates People

From Pinterest

Recently I’ve found the humor boards on Pinterest. It’s an easy way at the end of the day to kill a little time when you don’t have a book to read. However, it’s also a huge commentary on society.

It’s become apparent to me how people, in our culture, think other people are stupid, or need to be punched in the face, or how they don’t want to be around people, how much they hate people, or share pictures of people simply to make fun of them.

Now, I’m an introvert. I understand wanting to hide in my home or enjoying the comfort of my bedroom rather going out and meeting new people. However, I don’t hate people. I might hate crowds or traffic. I might get irritated at the person who cut me off or is driving recklessly, but I don’t hate people. In fact, it’s sinful to hate people. It’s sinful to assume stupidity when you simply disagree (this gets especially bad during election season.) It’s sinful to degrade others for the purpose of making yourself feel better.

I don’t know the percentage of Pinterest-ers that would consider themselves Christ-followers, but as Christians we need to be aware of falling into this worldly trap of thinking poorly of others. God created humans after His own image. ALL people Christians and non-Christians alike are worth something to Him. As His ambassadors we should treat other humans with love, patience, grace, and dignity. We WILL get frustrated with each other. We WILL have days where customers, co-workers, family, friends, and strangers drive us crazy, however, our life mantra  should NEVER be one of “I hate people.” – no matter how “cool” it is.

Published in: on August 31, 2013 at 4:31 pm  Leave a Comment  
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“When am I ever going to use this?!”

I’m sure that is a question that is asked in almost EVERY math class in America. Possibly it is also asked in science, English, and history classes as well, but I’m not sure. Math, however, seems to get the short straw a lot. People “hate” math, they are horrible at it. Math is hard. Students head to college unprepared for STEM degrees/jobs, which are the most in demand.

However, as I was studying with my 1st grader his science test about matter I asked myself, “When was the last time I used the fact that there are three states of matter. Sure, I boil water to cook spaghetti and freeze water to make ice, but I don’t need to understand the properties of matter to actually boil and freeze water.”

The bottom line is that we do NOT educate students so that they can go through life with the minimum of knowledge. For 7 years I was a stay-at-home mom. In order to get through life I needed to be able to read and do arithmetic, I needed to know how to use scissors (those all-important coupons), and the basics of cooking (nope, I didn’t even really need to understand fractions, although it’s helpful). I needed to know how to drive and the rules of the road. I needed to know how to do laundry and clean a house. I needed to know how to soothe a crying baby/child and how to find directions. NONE of those things did I learn in high school. I’m not even sure my high school offered a home ec class, and if they did I didn’t take it.

The truth is, outside of our careers, we don’t use the majority of the information we learn in high school and core college classes. I don’t remember the year the US entered WWII, but I know that the war took place in the late 30’s and 40’s. I haven’t read Shakespeare since I was in high school and don’t remember anything outside the basic plot of Romeo and Juliet. And while I could probably still balance a chemical equation, I haven’t done so in over 10 years since my college Chemistry class.

The point of secondary education and beyond is not to get our students to a point of simply being able to survive life with minimal skills, it’s to teach them a plethorah of information so that they can be:

1. A well-rounded individual.

2. Exposed to many different topics so that they can see what interests them and what they’re good at.

3. Once they do choose a career they have all the background information they need to move forward in learning and specializing.

4. To exercise their brain muscle and teach students how to learn and be life-time students.

I teach my students Algebra not because I think they are going to be sitting around their kitchen table solving equations every day, but because I want to open a door to them. I want my students to be grounded in the basics of upper level mathematics so that they have the ability to choose a STEM career, or go into business and use math modeling to make a business successful, or even to major in a non-math related subject that requires Calculus.

My guess is that history, science, English, foreign language, etc. teachers teach for the same reason. It’s not because you’re going to be using this information every day of your life, but rather so that their students have the ability to choose any career that they find themselves passionate about.

Published in: on January 18, 2013 at 7:30 am  Leave a Comment  
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1000 Declutter Challenge

So I’ve been following the blog, Miss Minimalist, for a while now. I’m not as radical as some of the minimalists that she has had post for her real-life minimalist series or as radical as she is herself. However the blog is very motivating to live a less materialistic life. Also, living in a 1400 square foot house with a lot of junk leads to a very cluttered house. I’ve also learned that I get over stimulated visually and aurally. So, I’d really like to pare down my life.

With this in mind I’m giving myself a challenge this summer. My challenge is that I get rid of 1000 things in my house. And here are kind of the rules I’ve given myself.

1. I count everything I get rid of, no matter how small. This includes trash that is found under beds or behind furniture or something. So if I get rid of a toy that’s +1.

2. If I bring something into the house, it counts against me. When John gets a new toy for his birthday that will be a -1.

3. If I don’t want to count it as a -1 coming in, than I can’t count it as a +1. For instance, if I count a grocery bag going in the trash, then I’d have to count the grocery bag coming into the house. (However, hopefully I’ll remember my reusable bags more often!)

I think that’s about it except that my challenge to myself is to get rid of 1000 things before school starts. I’m not sure exactly how hard it will be, but I shall see! 🙂

Published in: on May 31, 2012 at 9:44 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A Response to an article entitled “American Preparatory Academy”

A Response to an article entitled “American Preparatory Academy“:

I love charter schools. I love what they represent… choice. I honestly do not see the negative side of charter schools.

Because I’m curious I’ve googled “charter school opposition” (or something like that). Then I googled (American Preparatory Academy scandals because 1) It was a criticism that charter schools are known for scandals and 2) I was curious about my son’s school. Just as a side note, this is the only article, and I was proud of my school in the end.)   I do not feel as though the opposition has a good argument. But, for now, I digress and move onto this particular blog post.

For whatever reason when I went to comment on the post the comments weren’t working, so I’m blogging about it. 🙂

The blog post is simply a straight forward copy and paste of an article from the Salt Lake Tribune with no commentary. Well… kind of. You see, the author links to the news article, but then copy and pastes only excerpts of the article that suits the needs of his/her agenda. At first, reading the article, I didn’t realize that the entire article was not included. She quotes a large portion and then adds in “…”. Then quotes another large portion and ends with another “…”. Now, to my understanding, when one uses the “…” to indicate that material has been removed, the removed material should not have any bearing on the meaning of the overall story. The second “…” was used correctly, however, if one digs a little farther the first “…” changes the entire outcome of the American Preparatory Academy “scandal.”

So, basically, here’s what happened:

In the portion that the author quoted it is revealed that,

“The academy pays a charter school management company $986 a year per student to run its two schools, according to the management agreement. The company is owned by sisters of the chairman of the academy’s board.”

“With about 1,140 students enrolled in American Preparatory Academy’s two schools, the for-profit management company, led by Carolyn Sharette, receives more than $1 million a year, she said. Sharette’s brother, Howard Headlee, chairs the American Preparatory board, which hired Sharette’s company.”

“Sharette, Headlee and their sister Laura Campbell opened the first school together in 2003. Sharette and Campbell worked at the school and later created the charter management company, called American Preparatory Schools Inc…”

Whoa. That sounds a little dicey. And that’s exactly where the author of the blog leaves the story and how he/she wants you to feel… a little icky.

However, if you dig a little further (ie click the link to the original story and read the whole thing, you then find out):

“Sharette said setting up a management company became necessary to allow her to assist other charter schools that were approaching her for help without using American Preparatory Academy’s resources.”

“Headlee did not attend the meeting in which the board voted to hire Sharette’s company, did not participate in discussions about it and previously declared his conflict of interest, according to minutes of the 2008 meeting in which the board voted to hire Sharette’s company.

Headlee said he has no financial interest in his sister’s company. He said the board followed competitive bidding practices required by state law but Sharette’s bid was the only one that met the needs of the school’s instruction model.

Sharette’s company employs the academy’s administrators and handles the school’s finances and academics.”

So, after reading the entire article concerning APA we find out, in fact, that while there may be questions, those questions were answered in such a way that everything is above ground. We find out that the charter management company owner started the company, not to embezzle money, but rather to protect the charter school and help others, that the brother did not participate in the hiring process of his sister’s management company, and that while the company gets $986 per student per year at least part of that money goes right back to the school in the form of salary for the administrators and is compensation for being  the school’s accountant, if you will.

What irks me is that the author of the blog left readers to believe that there were some shady dealings being done, when in actuality, those involved were really trying to do what was best for the school and avoid accusations of nepotism. The author wishes to promote the idea that charter schools are wrong because there are scandals attached to them. However, here’s the thing… public schools have scandals too.

In a comment she asks “but what’s wrong with them finding my blog where they will only end up reading a Salt Lake Tribune article about the school?”

The answer is that it’s wrong because of the excerpt posted can lead people to believe there was a scandal, when in fact those involved answered openly, honestly, and had done everything according to the law. It’s wrong because by the very fact of posting it on a blog entitled “Charter School Scandals” leads people to believe there was a scandal.

I don’t mind that the blog exists. It’s well within the American’s freedom to collect scandalous articles and have them all in one location, and could perhaps be helpful at times. However, what I do mind is people purposefully trying to distort information to benefit themselves or their agenda. It just isn’t helpful to the conversation. If this person thinks that charter schools are wrong or add to corruption within education then they should support their case with honesty and integrity.

As an end note in regards to the second school mentioned in the article, Monticello Academy, another local charter school, I think the State Charter Board was correct in “ousting” the director of the school. They did so because of parent complaints “of low teacher morale and efforts to block parental involvement in the school’s management,” lead to an investigation. To me, that’s what charter schools are all about. The parents wanted their teachers to be happier and so be able to perform their jobs better. They also wanted more involvement in the school. When they didn’t get what they wanted they went about changing things. They held power in their school. I think that’s awesome (this coming from a former teacher), and I don’t think that’s true in the public schools.

Published in: on August 7, 2011 at 8:53 pm  Comments (1)  
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Healthy Eating

Has anyone ever noticed that there is seemingly no spectrum of eating healthy? It’s almost as though you’re a 1 – eating crap… or a 10 – a vegan living on a raw food diet. Ok, ok, I know that’s not the case.

I have never been one who has paid much attention to eating healthy. I’m not really proud of that statement, but it’s the truth and it’s life. I have had people in my life who have gone from a “normal” diet, eating hamburgers, fries, pizza, with fruits and veggies sprinkled in to the very next day, seemingly, reveling in their asparagus and brussels sprout smoothie for breakfast gloating about how delicious it is on social media sites.

I am not that type of person.

I don’t think I have it in me to simply and completely walk away from the way I’m used to eating.

I want to eat healthier and I want my family too as well. So, I started implementing small changes. Ordering from a food co-op was the best thing I could have done. It has made me aware that there is an obvious and big difference in quality of meats. I am now pretty picky about the type of meat I choose for my family and am willing to pay the price. One also offers 9-grain bread. You have to buy 5 loaves at once, so I convinced a couple of friends to try it out with me and now I won’t go back. I hate it when we run out and miss out on ordering more. Beyond that the co-ops have given us new types of fruits and vegetables that weren’t on my radar before. I probably never would have bought cauliflower, but found out it is a favorite of my daughter. We just tried plums today and both the kids liked  it (after I forced them to try it!) 🙂

I’ve also tried to reorient how I have my kids eat. If they claim to be hungry, I will give them options of the different fruits and veggies we have. If they say they don’t want that, but want (insert unhealthy snack here) I say, “Well then, you’re not really hungry.” I want them to understand (and get into the habit) that when they’re hungry the best thing to do is grab fruits or veggies. Don’t get me wrong, they get treats, but I want snacking to be healthy.

I’ve also come to the dinner table differently. Just last night we had sloppy Joe’s with raw carrots and broccoli. (In the past I’d probably serve this with chips instead… so don’t judge me for the sloppy Joe. 🙂 ) Anyhow, my daughter didn’t want to eat the sandwich but ate a ton of carrots and broccoli. So, do I force her to take some bites of the sandwich? Really? If she’s happy with the veggies and can fill up, shouldn’t that be ok? So I didn’t push the issue. Today she ate the ham and cheese from her sandwich, but not the bread. Again do I push the issue? Should I make her eat a sandwich a normal way, or allow her to do it her way and so not love carbs as much as I do? I let it go. I’m not convinced I did the right thing in either setting, but I think it’s partly because I was raised in the culture pushing “clean plate clubber” membership. But, I want my kids to learn to stop eating when they’re satisfied.

Here’s my biggest frustration with all this. I’ve made some good healthy steps in the right direction. But when I try to look out there in the internet world about the next step to take, I’m off to asparagus and brussels sprout smoothie land where I don’t know what half of the ingredients are in recipes. To top it off, the recipes have about 100 ingredients and take about an hour of your time. I’m not ready for that. I’m just happy if I can get a meal on the table. I wish there was some type of transition-to-healthy-eating website that lead you through steps of things to add into and take out of your diet progressively. Or one that catered healthy recipes to busy moms that includes freezer meals and crockpots!

I’m happy to take tips, ideas, recipes, advice, amens! and encouragement. But please don’t expect me to being making the above mentioned smoothie tomorrow morning! 🙂

Published in: on July 21, 2011 at 1:46 pm  Comments (3)  
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Sin is like…

Sin is like being born in house arrest. You have freedom. You can eat your choice of any ten different, delicious dinners. You have ten different solid gray-scale shirts to choose from each morning. You can go outside to swing or toss a ball around. You can see the sun and the sky each day.  This is not prison. You do not feel stifled at all. You have always felt free and safe. You know there’s an outside world, but it’s a frightening, unknown place. You’re convinced it has nothing to offer you and have been told that there are rules you must live by, which seems incredibly oppressive. You can’t imagine why anyone would chose to live under rules when you had complete freedom in your home.

Then one day your ball bounces over your fence and you walk down the street a little way to retrieve it. In your neighbor’s yard you notice a slide and you begin to become curious about it. But your ankle monitor doesn’t allow you to travel any farther. All of a sudden the next day, you’re a little put out by having to stay in your yard. You want to experience the slide. You begin to notice that you don’t have every freedom that you would like to have. The next day you decide to make a run for it. You run to your neighbor’s yard and slide down the slide. Of course the monitor goes off and a guard is at your side within minutes dragging you back to your house.

You’ve now tasted a bit of freedom and begin to wonder what life is really like outside of your house. However, you’re beaten down and feel alone and scared. Not being content with your home any longer you begin to seek help and plead to be released from house arrest. Finally, you are granted mercy. You may have complete freedom to roam about the world, but your ankle monitor will remain on your leg. That’s ok with you, it hardly weighs you down.

You leave your house and walk past your neighbor’s house. You leave your street behind and finally your neighborhood. You are exploring the wonderful freedom that has been lost on you before. You realize that there are millions of different, delicious food options. You see people dressed in clothing of all different colors and styles. As you continue to travel you experience the snow in the mountains and the beaches in the tropics. Eventually, encounter the rules you were told of. However, even the rules seem to be in place as a protection for the people. For example: Rule #3 “Don’t jump in front of a moving train.” “Really,” you think, “that leads to death, why would I want to do that anyway?”

Along the way someone trips you, but you get up again. However, it begins to happen more often. You get tripped and brought down and you begin to think of the beautiful safety and freedom of your house. It was such a beautiful little cottage, with flower boxes in the window, luxurious green grass, and the most comfortable of beds. The comfort that it always gave you. Without even realizing what you’re doing your feet lead you automatically toward home. It’s been an easy trip with no one tripping you along the way. Ah yes. Life is just so easy at home.

As you walk up you begin to notice things you never noticed before. There are bars on the windows and several large, heavy locks on the door. The grass is brown and ugly. The ball barely bounces. The food you once found delicious is disgusting and leaves a stench throughout the house. The clothes in your closet are drab. The bed is hard and lumpy. You decide this wasn’t what you remembered or want out of life, but it’s too late. The home automation system has already locked you in for the night. Feeling helpless and hopeless you decide to sleep.

Waking up with the house bathed in morning light, it no longer seems so bad and you’ve once again become accustomed to the stench and taste of the food. “It’s not so bad here,” you decide. You easily slip into your old habits and routines. Then one day, as you’re sitting out on your swing you feel the breeze and it snaps you out of your daze. You remember the humid, salty, coconut scented breeze of the beach and you suddenly can’t remember why you’ve come back and certainly not why you’ve stayed so long.

You set out to leave, but it’s hard to do so again. You’re ankle monitor, which has never bothered you before, suddenly feels like it weighs 100 lbs but you drag your leg out the door. It’s a battle moving down the street.  The further you get from home the heavier the ankle monitor feels and weighs you down. The harder it gets to move. You give up and head for home. Again you find contentment in your old habits and routines.

After a while you begin day-dreaming day in and day out of the freedom you once knew. You decide to leave again. Once again the ankle monitor weighs you down, but you’re more prepared and more determined. It slows your journey until one day you realize it feels weightless again. You begin to revel once again in your true freedom. The more time you spend away from your  house the more and more realize that your house was the true prison and now you were experiencing true freedom. That even the rules that were put in place for your own protection and allowed for far more freedom than the oppression of the barred windows, drab wardrobe and tasteless, smelly slop you ate for food.

Even with this knowledge, your house still haunts your heart and yells out to you calling you home. You even decide to go home again. But standing across the street, you once again are shocked by prison-style house that stands in front of you. You break into a run to put as much space as you can between you and it. Every so often it creeps into your thoughts. But this time you have truth on your side. When you picture your house in your mind instead of seeing flower boxes you remember the bars. Instead of believing your bed is the most comfortable of feather mattresses you remember the hard lumps. Armed with the truth of your past imprisonment you began to become adept at pushing thoughts of your house away.

The thoughts and longings come less and less often the longer you’re from home. And one day you wake up and realize it holds no draw to you. You wouldn’t go back there even if someone paid you a million dollars. You swing your feet around the bed and place them on the floor and you’re astonished to find that your ankle monitor is not snapped. The lock has somehow come undone. Without hesitation you take the last piece of your life linking you to your past prison, drive down to the beach and chuck it into the vast ocean before you. You are free. Truly, completely, and totally free. As you sit down on the beach drawing your knees to your chest, you think back on your life and are astonished that you once thought your prison was freedom and that true freedom was a prison.

Published in: on July 19, 2011 at 11:59 am  Leave a Comment  
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Sin, Life, and Fellow Christians

I believe in Lordship salvation. Which means that when one becomes a Christian we WILL see a change in the person’s life. There WILL be noticeable fruit. Living in Utah, one of the biggest criticisms from Mormons is that, “Protestants (for lack of a better term) think they can say they’re a Christian and turn around and murder someone and everything’s ok.”

It’s a part of the whole works vs. faith discussion.

And whenever we hear that argument we wish that easy believism would go die a quick death.

Lordship Salvation teaches what Paul does in Romans, “Should we go on sinning that grace may abound? By no means!” No, we shouldn’t go on sinning… but we also know we will.

The crux of the issue is the heart. When I sin is my heart saying, “Oh it’s ok God will forgive me again. After all I’m not that bad. ” or is it saying, “Why am I doing this? I know it’s not pleasing to God. Wretched man that I am, Lord forgive me and give me strength to overcome temptation.”

However, I’m also beginning to understand that until a person is convicted by the Holy Spirit about their individual sins, as brothers and sisters in Christ we need to be more patient.

My thoughts on this have come from personal observations and after reading “My Ex-Gay Friend,” a New York Times article about Michael Glatze. Once on the forefront of the gay-rights movement, he had a health scare and became a born-again Christian. In the article Michael talks about how his first year as a Christian he gravitated toward liberal Christianity, which finds no sin in a homosexual lifestyle. However, the Lord convicted him. He left his homosexual lifestyle and has since become a heterosexual.

I mention this article, because I was struck by how my conservative Christian background would have responded to him in that first year of his Christian life. Believing that living a homosexual lifestyle is a sin, I would have been uncomfortable with him declaring Christ’s name and not willing to walk away from his boyfriend or his work as a gay-rights activist. Some people would call me judgmental. And while I do believe that there is a place for judgement to be made within the brotherhood of Christianity, I also am seeing the need to be quick to listen and slow to speak.

I think sometimes we need to be reminded that God interacts and grows each of us differently. Each of us have different battles to fight and have been given different strengths and weaknesses. Some are given a special sensitivity to sin, I think. They, especially, need to learn to be patient and loving with new and old believers alike.

As we notice the sins of our fellow Christians we need to recognize a few things:

1. They may already be aware of it and fighting it, but with little noticeable (from the outside) progress.

2. They may be struggling with a different sin and don’t feel like they could win a war on a divided front.

3. They may be defensive about it because they like their sin.

4. They may not even recognize their action as sinful.

With the third reason, I believe we still need to be slow with this person. Badgering them into recognizing their sin is not loving or helpful. I do believe there are times when we are to shut our mouths and open our prayer journals, if you will. While we are given the mandate in Galatians 6:1 to restore those who are caught in transgression, we are also told to do it with gentleness.

With the forth reason, I think it imperative that we clear in our explanation as to why the action is sinful. Showing scriptural references and indulgent in our explanations. We also need not be disappointed or frustrated if they don’t heed our advice immediately. We  just need to be patient as this different kind of seed that was planted will, more than likely, eventually flourish in the fertilized heart of a believer.

So, be encouraged my family in the faith. If you notice a brother in sin, encourage them to become more like Christ, but be gentle; be quick to listen and slow to speak. If you are approached about your sin, be humble, be encouraged by their love and concern for you. You also, be quick to listen and slow to speak.

Published in: on July 18, 2011 at 7:25 pm  Leave a Comment